The current background music and Chivas could be the most prefect match ever. I could spend a whole night with a bottle of Chivas and let all my thinkings immerse into its indolence and then vaporize with the alcohol and the music. Only I didn't. I went to the church for the basketball.

        I'm getting a "diminishing return" from all the exercises I take. What the hell...I sometimes lose to those who don't even do sports regularly. No fair. Sometimes, the more you try to pursuit something, the easier that you'll actuallylose it. Believe or not, there is destiny.

        Destiny might bring some of you running over my blogs, destiny might have told you guys to "gone with the wind"...A friend of mine simply rumbled a few lines and had even more comments than the blog itself the later day...DON'T I DESERVE ANY? Y---Y...whatever, I started this blog barely in the intention of having fun...with or without your rare comments.

       

    "It is the one", if quote the lines from <<Matrix>> which is again playing on TV. Finally, <<Three Kingdoms>> was finally found by luck on one bookself full of chinese literatures in the library. I don't know how many foreigners actually used those books to satisfy their mighty interests in chinese literature. They either have no interests at all or are too stupid to understand it. But speaking for their own defendence, we simply just don't have enough and "qualified" resources for them to learn.

    Despite the fact that only a few pages of the book have been read earlier this afternoon, with the knowledges of those pages, I might have some authorities starting to think less of the book. Although it did literally translate the original chinese copy, I gotta say, its lame and clumsy translation not only ruined the verve, but also twisted some histories.

    I humbly hold the opinion that it is not the author who should to blame. It wouldn't be hard for the readers to detect the author's great efforts and also strugglings on the translating. The author, Moose Robert, in whom we should find more of his talents on bridging the two impossibles together. His work is to apperciated even by the most judgemental readers.

   Ones with the profounded studies in chinese,  ones with the accesses finding the incapabilities of English. The ability of English has failed to satisfy the ambitions of people who are striving to taste ,to understand one special "chinese food".

   My blogs would be all in classical chinese if I could manipulate that enigmatic and fascinating language. My regert for wasted the opportunities is great, my sorrow for the diminishing of popularity ,even the torpidity of the greatness of that language is even greater.

                                     " On and on the Great River rolls, racing east

                                      Of proud and gallant heroes its white-tops leave no trace

                                      As right and wrong, pride and fall turn all at once unreal.

                                      Yet ever the green hills stay..."

      That's the closest we can come to chinese literature,  in where we are now at the furthest from a great civilization.

     When was the last time I spent a big proportion of the day in school? Er...never! I was there from 11.30 to 8.30 , technically , I should have also counted the time I spent on the bus. Preparing for the french oral test, flipping through the testbooks ,sitting in the library while watching the day goes by...but the de ja vu continues at the very moment when I have my apartment in sight.

      The feeling of some indignations I picked up from the dinnering hall at SMU is still haunting me. My resentment towards the food there and its price has long been established. A "distasteful" burger is costing 5 dollars, dehydrocanned vegetables costs 3 dollars at a small proportion...I feel so violated. The longer you stay at SMU, the more snobblishness you'll find in him.

       Are we spending too much on the educations? A question has been risen in more and more people,"Is it worth it?". Sorry for lacking the information on the number of dollars chinese in these days are spending on the oversea educations.Still through, it wouldn't be hard for those with certain discernment to be shocked by the enormous contributions chinese have made to the developed  countries.

      "Let it be"...like I once said in my blog, "The things you can't change will one day become the things you hate". Why bother thinking? But some interesting thoughts went through my minds when I was on the bus to school. We are all living in all kinds of society at any time. People who are on the same floor of the library compose a small society and when you sit on the bus, you are in a even smaller society that consists of the people sitting around you...  Although not being an anthropologist, I still apperceive the social behaviors of human being from time to time.

      I didn't realize it is this late already, call it a night or keep stacking more craps on this huge pile of falderals , it is not even my call...I can barely keep my eyes open. Night,night!

      If I had a car, I would drive and jog  there every single day. Stephan and I went jogging in the point pleasant  park earlier this afternoon, that could be the only memorable thing I did today. Jogging wasn't on my schedule for almost a week until today. Just like writing diary, it should also be a "consisten" thing. Trust me, I could clearly feel the heaviness and exacting of every step I made. 

      I've learnt from some magazines I previously read that the jogging is scientifically considered the top 1 exercise for human being. It works every part of our bodies. Gym, after had my ardency for a short term, shall now be abandoned. Yet, I couldn't help myself giving some thoughts toward my concerns over things like...where to jog and the music I can jog to? I hope I somehow could have such a free mind like "Forrest Gump " did. "I run when I feel like to "...Word like that might sound plain and simply, at the same time, it is the word like that  best explains the nature of things . The philosophy of lives most of times is found between the most oridinary people who live at the most forgetable corners on this planet.

     For those who were born in the 80s shouldn't be unacquainted with "Chernobyl". 20 years after the most terrible unclear incident in the history, 16 pople returned to Pripyat (A city that devastated from the explosion ans is still partial remaining military controlled due to the uncertain amount of harmful radiation ) ,all these 16 are vunerable aged people. When the youngs are striving to stay as far as they can, what drives them going back? "People ask me why I am not afraid" one of them says, smiling a mouthful gold fillings, "I say this is my hometown, I get up in the morning, living the life I am familar with, nothing can change that". Isn't  that wisdom? They precious what they own. They don't complain anything about the lifestyle in which we see all  routines.

     As long as you want to, you can always learn a thing or two from the veterans of lives, veteans whom routines become something they  enjoy.  They are the real cool ones. World Peace!

     

      The Nets and Suns are going to the rubbish time. An excepted close game is now expecting to be New Jersy's overwhelming victory. I didn't want to start my diary with  such a lame prologue  at the first place, they all seem farfetched. That's right, I'll just have another "farfetched" diary. However, since I have already signed a "contract" with this diary thing, I don't have any choice here but to keep it going. Cause once the first exception is made, I believe the first brick of "domino" would  fall down at the same time. 

     This is shit right. Shit like this even makes myself sick while shit like the <<The family guy>> makes money. Very funny, we all complain a lot, we are all cynical...The only difference is theirs complains and cynicism have been commercialized and popularized and become some soild golden shit. Lucky bustard.

         

     It stops here. No more "to be contiuned"...Enough is enough. I have left enough unfinished blogs. "To be contiuned"...it had always helped me finding excuses to leave today's works to tomorrow, and I'm not the kind of guys who really finish today's works by tomorrow. Most of us are not. Consequently, we all become the garbage can of yesterday's works.

     The last season of <<Friends>> was just on TV. After have been watching the "rehearsal" <<Friends>> for more than 4 months, we wouldn't be seeing my little "to be contiuned" trick on <<Friends>> again. I guess after it has rumbled 10 seasons, the last season which comes from no where finally waved "goodbye" to these six "friends". I actually shouldn't have used the word "rumble", I loved <<Friends>>. But seriously, the last season came from no where. I alwasy thought the season 10 was the last season. Whatever...Anyways, it ended up that Rose and Rachel got back together...again, and Monica and Chandler moved out to the suburban area rasing their kids.

     You know what, I've just realized that I spelled "continued" wrong for the whole "season". I was such a jerk who had such a jerky day in which another jerky blog has been "rumbled". I'm calling it off, gotta do some readings. That might help me coming up with stuffs I can talk about in my blogs.

      

     "Do you guys have any cigarettes?" We were asked by two jerky punks last night on our way back from a party. "No, we are healthy ones, healthy like me" one of my friends replied, and he was then being mocked by being called "healthy fat ass" by the punks. When he was about to fight them, another one of us grabbed his arm and said "not worthy it". I didn't give too much thought to what those two punks said to my friend even this minor incident itself. But I couldn't help myself thinking "Why do we fight in these days?"

      I believe most of us must had the  expercience of experciencing the feeling to fight  someone, someone who we really can't stand or tolerate, but somehow were pulled back from taking actions by our own "balance", balance of the cost. Apart from a few of us who got nothing to lose, we are all no exceptions of the "Balance". No one wants to go to jail or get hurt over a fight."Rational" and  "intellectualism"  could be our self-comfortations. How rational for all being coward! Sarcastically, people like us spend half of our lives in cinemas, or on televisions  to watch the so called "actions", and where the "Couldn't be more fake WWE fight" takes place is where we people could show off our enormous courages.

      "Violent movies, violent PC-Games..."They are telling us there is one element missing-"WAR". First World War was ended in 1918,21 years later, Germans again led human beings to a new episode of the World War .  

     To be continued!

                      

        

     

     

     

    TIME magazine has a column called "10 questions for ...", simply speaking , it picks celebrities to answer 10 questions that about their lives, careers...everything. To make use of this subject to elaborate my complains, I'll have to ask TIME 10 questions.

    1.Why is the Iraq war "invited" to every single issue and always rumbles 3 pages at least each time, front and back?

      Well, for your information, we didn't actually "invite" it, it " invited" itslef. You see, we invested billions and billions of dollars in this war, but it seemed this investment didn't pay back. We feel the obligations to explain the fact to the world  that America screwed up again.

   2.Do you think your reports reflect the truth?

      No way,man. No one wants to know the turth. Truth sucks.

   3.How come people would like to choose TIME over others?

      It is cheaper and tax free.

   4.Have you ever thought about using big font, cause some people are complaining about too small fonts of TIME.

      This is not the the first time that is suggested. We'll consider diverting TIME into pornno, so people don't have to read no more.

   5.About the "Multitasking generations" you talked about in the latest issue, do you think our kids are too wired?

      Of course they are not. They are just becoming what they are educated to be-- robots.You can't address a robot " too wired", can you?  I mean even if you could, they wouldn't care. Besides, it is cool when they conducting six MSN conversations, watch TV and Google scores all at one time. They are becomeing more efficient slaves of this world than we are.

    6. Do you think the ichnographic commercials are now obsolete . More and more people are appealing to a commercial free environment in maginzines.

       Je ne suis pas d'accord. Commodities sell themselves. We are not allowed to have a commercial free environment, otherwise, what are we supposingto do with our money? Nevertheless, we would popularize more direct commercials. Like all banks could share the space. That would be less confusing.Oh...and they could all use the same solgan "We are richer than you think "(Scotia Bank) or "Losing your money to us can be this convenient"(TD)...

    7. Does the TIME canadian edition have different contests from the american one? 

    Slightly, canadian edition usually is all about hockey while the american one talks about the Iraq war all the time.

     8. Other major magazine publishers are trying to dig into the big market in China, National Gergraphics has pubished its first chinese edition a few years ago and Forbes are reading by more and more polished chinese...what will be your next step?

        to be continued!

     He is the king, he is omnipotent...those might be the words fans would like to use on James. Nobody can deny his physical strength and his capabilities to score. But is that all about basketball? I couldn't find anyone who moves as  factitious as he does. To me, every single movement, jump shoot, spin...what so ever, he makes, all seems crapy and disgusting.

    As I've already reached this point, I feel like to let go of my angers, my resentments toward all pop stars, man-made idols...even the entire entertainment industry. If it is an industry, what in the world does  this one produce? On one hand, whatever it produces entain some of us, on the other hand, it somehow reveals our terrible tastes on entertainments. We voluntarily fall off the easy traps with our eyes open.Like the WWE, and movies...we all know those are "fake", still, we convience ourselves over and over again  to find faith in the "fakes".If there were aliens beyond this vault of heaven, what would they really think of us from their point of views? Are we weried? I guess so...So much as look from a pig's eyes, we are weired...We don't eat as much as we can, we don't sleep even when we want to...we use pig as a weapon to assualt each other, whereas, pig may see us as the "stupidest" among them. Yep...we do hate ourselves , so much that we use our whole lives to torture ourselves."Stupid, stupid,stupid..."

      "National day", "Valentiney day"...Has any of you ever counted them up? I believe very few of us can name all of them at on try, not to mention telling  the significances of those days. But if I could, I would trade all of them with a "Commercial free day". 

       It might be one of my inrational "fantasies". Yet it might also humbly speaks on the behalf of  most of us. Here, I list the top five "most-wanted" commercials.Switch channel or destory your TV (Not the remote) at the first sign of discomfort that might cause by the followings

       1.All College commercials

       2.Power Bar

       3.Buy Owner

       4.Gillete Power Stripe

       5.Wendy's (All the "sensationals")

      Please, have some compassions on my poor nerve.How on earth did those jerks produce such devastating commercial monsters? Fortunately , they usually don't come together. I couldn't imagine what a "breath-taking" scary chain effect it could  have  when these five come together one after another. It chills my blood when I picture the two pathetic middle age losers all of a sudden become thanksful for "buy owner", follwing by an unkempt  crazy chinese guy mumbling something in chinese which by no means ressembles a "Power bar".I wouldn't continue this fearful scenario. I sure the chubby black woman who trys to pander the innocent ones to study at those colleges and the terrible actress who trys to convience us with another stupid "power" thing, can easily make the sell.Why don't they just rob us and save some of our sufferings.

        We have all kinds of standard that becomes the proofs of the shit we buy. Such as ISO 900, ISO 2000..., Please ISO those commercials.For god's sake. Sorry, that's not how God works. We have asked for too much, so in these days, even "calling god" isn't toll free and since god is also ISO approved, so for all  the conveniences, a decision has to be made between English, French,Spanish...to best answer our inquires, we are prefered to have our own customer reference number...Last but not least, we are asked to make the last and most important decision, how do we like to pay? VISA, Mastercard, credit card...?  Our inquires will be answered immediately once our payment is approved...Guaranteed!

       Holy crap...

    I went to the class, I ate three dinners, I worked out for a little bit, I erased the words I just worte down and went back and forth...Do people in the class know the purpose of being there. Do we eat because we have to? Why do we work out?...

    If one day, we all become  millionaires, will we still want to go to the class? If one day, we have pills that provide us with all the nutritions we need, will we still want to eat? If one day, we can "DIY" our bodies , will we still be willing to do exercises?...

    My insprations are gone...I can't feel the keyboard when my fingers are on it, I can't see even when my eyes are open, I can't think when I'm awake, I can't tell this day from the other days...so I can't write when it has already been written.

   

    Holy crap...I've just wasted most of my evening on the reviews for tomorrow's Mgt test. My mood to writting the diary has been spoiled ...Huh...I'll have to pass...Sweet dream!

     We are losing the basic skills for survive. When I'm watching this TV show named <<Survivor>>, I have something going on in my mind. How many of us today can make simple tools using the materials that nature provided to us?  I  believe few of us can confidently give me a postitive answer. Mouse and keyboard have already made our hands footless. Some of you may hold the opinion that we no long need to be handy, we have all the conditions needed  to laxatively lose those skills. But there is pathetically little human instinct still left deep inside us . 

   

     Last winning ticket I held was bet on the championship of Chelsea. Luckily, I won, unfortunately, I never had a chance to cash it.Surrounding by the atmosphere of football. A rare few chance to  watch soccer on TV in America takes me into a sad missing for singapore. A country that was crazy about soccer, a country with numberless  of noshery ...also was a country I hated so much . I could use a full paragraph listing the things I hated about singapore while leaving only the suspension points for what this country is known for.

    It is becoming a more and more proved old saying that " Distance leads enchantment to the view" (The words could fail to express the meaning,whatever, I took my shoot). Now not only the seldom good memories become extremely  precious, even the so name "lousy ones" are now becoming "positive". Torridity is no longer the resentful "aspect" of sinagpre, instead , "passionate"  has become the synonymous with "broil", and the bad reputed "Singlish" is now being "yearned".

    18th, June, 2003, the day I embraked the insular country.People of singapre seemed to have put more attention to SARS . I began my voyage in a quite and inconspicuous way. The terro of SARS accompained me for the first few month. I was only allowed to move in the confined of a small area which was scrutinied by some epidemic controlling Org.

   To be contiuned.

      I just got back from the institution class at the church.Despite the fact that today is some Irish binge day( it does have an official name, don't blame me for not remember it, the official name was way too complicated) , we had a pretty "rational and sober" class. Speaking for myself, I didn't like the class that much. Mostly because I don't read and study the book they talk about.I just again  wanted to skip a diary or two. Writting at mid-night after all isn't "natural and relaxing". However, I ultimately gave up the suggestion I made for myself. Just like I went to the institution class with the reluctances of being there.

     My eyes and mind are so divided.My eyes want to finish this diary as soon as possible so they can rest, while my mind wants to stay on some stupid TV shows on channel 39. The channel which has porn on friday night , technically those are introductions to porn.Cause ,<<Sin city>>, <<Family business>>...giving that kind of stuffs, I wouldn't call them porn, not at all. I don't know if you guys are familiar with someguy named Jimy, if you like entertainment or porn (that's crap, do I know any freaks who don't like porn) , you sure must have seen that name somewhere.

     Seriously, my eyes are giving me a hard time, this "heavy" tropic will be talked again later.

   I was just flipping through the previous Time magazines. There was an article talks about Bill Gates and two other celebrities doing the charities around the world. I couldn't help myself asking " Do they really care? " The microsoft guy has been striving to hold the whole cake of the IT industry while some people he has been helping don't even know what cake is or never teasted one. Not only they have completely different difinitions for cakes but also for each other and his life. What brings them together? Altough not being the richest or the poorest, it is not hard to understand that they are mutually the reasons for each's existence.I've been trying to use some words to expalin this kind of phenomena and I eventually came up with "Sometimes we do what we like to , the rest of time, we do what we have to"

   Obviously , my latest diaries are much shorter. They are shoter not because they are extracted, but because they couldn't be extracted. Don't ask me why...I'm just doing what I have to do.

  

    I couldn't understand why people go to the gym and put tons of time on those stiff machines.But a few days ago, after I tried on those stiff machines, I found they are not as boring as I thought.I also found the most important thing for working out is that you always need to set yourself a goal. No matter what happens, you finish the goal. 10 minutes on the pace machine,15 minutes of working with the dumbbell...  Wow, they really made me exhausted...You know what, time sneak out way faster than you can  imagine when you are working out.I unconsciously spent 2 hours in the gym tonight, no wonder that I'm  now feeling so fatigued.I hope bed will have a good hospitality for me tonight.Am I asking too much, what I alwasy wanted is a nice ,dreamless sleep. Did I ever get one, no...Sleep is too good for my cranky head! Whatever...I gotta sleep anyway...! 

  

    Today's story is starting with a movie I just saw earlier in the afternoon.I don't know if you guys have already seen it. I've actually seen it a couple of years ago, but it was a trailer, or something. Anyway, the story line is basically that a girl can forsee some ominous things that are gonna happen and  one day on a highway, she again picked up that feeling ,so she intervened and somehow saved some people's lifes from a major traffic accident. But still, those people have to die, casue they are on death's list.

    One thing I like about the movie , is that it "bridges" a few minor incidents together which leads to people's death. Like there was a guy who was supposed to die in the traffic accident but didn't ,because of that girl's "meddling". After he went home and  starting to prepare the dinner, a spectral wind blowed into his apartment , a small plastic hanger was blowed off from the wall to the dinner bucket which he then put into the microwave to reheat. More and more spectral things were about to happen. First it was his ring that accidentally fall off into the downcomer when he was washing his hands, then it was the dinner bucket in the microwave blowed up.Things were then getting worse, when he was trying to get the ring back from downcomer, his hand got stucked by the watch which he  put on right after the deadly wind blowed in. It was not over yet, his pot caught on fire, his intention to put off the fire by a wet towel unfortunately overturned the pot and leaded to a bigger fire. After all his strugglings, he finally pulled his hand out and was trying to use the extinguisher to put out the fire. I guess from here, you can already see what's gonna happen later. The extinguisher was broke and his windows were impossiblly locked. He had no choice but to broke the window and escape from the fire escape ladder. Here comes the best part, another minor incident took place, the ladder stucked at the very moment he was about to reach the ground. He jumped down , but stepped on the left over he throwed out from the window also right after the wind blowed in. He fell on the ground and so did the ladder. It punctured right through his head.

    There are tons of scary movies you can buy from the movie stores or watch in the cinema.But all of them can be categoried into two categories. Ghost and murder. I don't believe in ghost, so all scary movies in that category I believe have a quite limited scary effect on me. As to the murder, I don't have many chances to meet any of those killing enthusiasts. But <<Final Destination>> doesn't belong to either of them. "The biggest enemies we have are oursleves". I hereby could draw another conclusion "The scarisest thing comes from the inside".

 

   I don't remember since when watching <<Friends>> and <<Everybody loves Raymond>> evey weeknight  starts to occupy most of the evening. Laying down on my couch, letting these two TV shows take over of my night lifes. There is no doubt that they are two awesome TV shows. One who doesn't find them funny , one who wouldn't be considered normal.

  Staring at the screen , laughing  along...like there is one slogan said " time well wasted". However, it is pretty clear that it is still a waste. It's just about how you waste it.Did I, or for all the people who are living  in this civilized world , spending too much time on TV ? I've always been wondering before 60s ,before the television was invented , what do people do in the evening. I sometimes can't help myself to blame the guy who invented televivion. Televison has made us much more reluctant to think by ourselves. It seems we are too lazy to do anything but remoting the television. Will we one day become too lazy to switch the channel? I gotta say, that is absolutely possible. If we have to use a word and a word only to define all human beings, I'd like to lable ourselves "inert gases".

  

 

       We can now put an end to the story of winter.This winter didn't really give us too much hard time.It behaviored itself pretty well. It is said to be the warmest winter in the recent decades.I've only witnessed two major heavy snows which people usually get to see dozens of times during the winter.

       Everything is so quite outside of my window.At the far side of the bay,lights spread out like stars, sitting at the edge of the horizon ,all shining. They are giving me the feeling that they want to say something. Maybe they feel lonely. If that is the case, we sure have something in common. We are looking at each other, quitely, without a single word. We both do have something to tell, but can't tell. Word at this moment becomes useless. I close the lid of my computer, stop my struggling to use the word to record this indescribable  moment.