It seemed almost in no time that the summer has made his disappearance, overwhelmed by the coldness of the upcoming long winter.  Although I wish I could get a grip on the “diminishing” summer, delay his departure by some days, I’ll be more likely required to get a grip on the reality instead. Apart from all the unappreciable natures of winter, my resentment towards this season is mainly based on the inconvenience he implanted when living under his shadow. Standing at the bus stop, covered with snow, chilling …while the bus finally makes his late arrival in his lumberly fashion after the stiffness sets inside your flesh. I might have exaggerated it for a little bit. Yet the worst scenario had happened and could replay itself again. No matter how much I complain, bad scenario always have their shoots, no matter how faithful I am, the good ones never happen on request. Like the lottery, for that slim possibility to win, we give away our hope. The odd is not on our side but we never lost our passions to against all the odds. Pathetic opportunists …I take that as a complement. Admit or not, we are all named opportunists. People who take the chance at the right time, become the cover page of the magazine, people who don’t take the chance is found among us as for those who take the chance at a wrong time are to be seen behind the bars.

   I don’t know if you folks have seen the <<Prison Break>> already. If you haven’t, then you might be considered “Obsolete”. It is usually more than rare to hear me to recommend a TV show, needless to mention the reasons, but I guess the first exception is in order here.

   The first prison was built in 1860, since then, we started to send those who are “disliked” by the society to the little cages. We fantasized the process of “inhabitation” will consequently begin, we fantasized that behind those bars, and the “bad” are separated from the “good” … People say that this world is better off without them, they are speaking the truth. However, no matter how “sophisticated” our law system is, we will never get rid of crimes. One day we’ll overcome the poverty, one day, we’ll find a solution to AIDS, one day… is never the day for us to say “farewell” to crimes.  

     How much does a life weight? Does it weight as much as the World Trade Center which collapsed on the same day five years ago? How about 2973 lives?

     I’ve never thought that I would take a lesson about life from that incident until 5 years later when a documentary on the discovery channel brought me so close to the catastrophic memories in most of the Americans. People around the world were shocked, horrified…yet the catastrophe led people to a deeper question: How much are we determined to live? It is only after you faced the death nose to nose that you know the living. These are the days which we judge people by the suits they wear, the car they drive, the house they live…People at the bottom of this society are always appealing that we never shared the love from God equally.

     But when the disasters strike upon us that we know we are all equally weak in front of the disaster, driven by one single motivation: survive.        

        My interest towards learning German has been aroused by my “Deutschland” friends. Finally, I had myself focus on the objective seriously for this time, while finding some free German studying resources has turned out to be as difficult as the language itself. Wasted my whole night pursuing some stupid German studying software, I concluded this night as another confirmation of the fact: “There is no free lunch”. Either you possess money to buy it or you possess skills to steal it. I process neither of them. Frustrated as I am, I again introduced myself to this stupid writing thing, striving to find some refugee in it.

       The first day back to college seemed to have nothing to do with the theme:“interesting”, not even close. The coming back of students makes the campus again an uproarious place which meanwhile makes me missing the past peaceful summer. If there was a question I am to ask God, I would confront him with all the complication he implanted in us. Nothing is ever good enough for us or just me. There were times I hated high school, there were times I missed it and now those are all the times I don’t want to remember anymore, just like I don’t want to remember the taste of Chinese food. Accustomed myself to the macaroni and stuffs, I guess life is better off without those memories, what have you?

        After exhausted all my resources and inspirations for a proper title, I have had to send my weakest solider but also the omnipotent one to the battle, “untitled diary”, it works in all conditions and exclusively concluded these two “untitled” days.

        The new term certainly is not as “refreshing” to me as to those who just got their tastes on university. Some days ago, picking up freshmen at the airport reminds me of the very moment one year ago when I was like anyone of them, in whom it is not a difficult task to perceive a slightly “tabulated” emotion by a long fly, by an uncertain new place…By the way, if you are to pick up girls at the airport, remember no car is too big for them. For some reasons, which I will never be able to comprehend, girls really have all their passions on luggage. With all my imaginations, I failed to list all items that could possibly overhaul those giant luggage monsters.

        Being away from home for than a year, strangely, my compass doesn’t always point south, as a result, homesick has been dusted with time. Neither Changsha nor Shanghai carried  many of my memories, as to the place I first started to learn this world, it changed too rapidly as my bare eyes can hardly recognize him. From my respect, the change has done nothing good.     

Is soul-mate real? I’m asking myself that same question over and over and again after I watched Tom Hanks and Mega Regan “I’ve got a mail”. I don’t remember when exactly this movie made its reputation, could be some five years ago. Anyways, I somehow gave myself reasons to endure all the commercials and waited along to watch the whole movie. Trust me, tolerating commercials would be the very last option besides killing myself.

Is there really a soul-mate for each one of us in this world, a world which is more likely to precious people like Paris Hilton? She is not the one who should to blame, for sure. We made her the symbol of this “marvelous” era. When she gets drunk or acts like a prostitute, I humbly believe most of us would cheer and all of sudden start to realize the fun side of the world. Although she might fail to qualify a soul-mate, I have faith on her ability to be a good “bed-mate”! Seriously, why on earth do we need a soul-mate? How many of us actually found one? Who really needs a “Soul-mate”?  After all, is just another one of our “phobia” of simple living. So forget about the whole thing, if you can’t, reach down into your pocket and buy one!          

        Enough is enough, while there is nothing much you can do about it. This life has entered an embarrassing stage. The lottery is not happening; now, even looking at the miserable bank statement could make this life a total catastrophe. I assume that my “esteemed” reader shall now know the reason of the absences of my diaries.

        If there was something needs to be remembered as a memento of the past month, then allow me to introduce my terribly “might” job at KFC. “Money don’t come easy”, we are all used to the old saying, now, I have more authority to use that saying than before. For some people, they will never find any use of that saying, for me, I’ll have to live on that for a while. The more I think about it, the more it hurts. Those god damn pop stars, or clowns of the center stage make billions of dollars each year just for a couple minutes of singing and dancing, even just showing up would do the trick.. Enough is enough; after all, we are all furiously and also hopefully, prepared for a total war. War is the most sophisticated tool polishing the human-beings. A war is not to weed out the weak ones but to give them a chance to be strong. Besides, who are the weak? Nobody really knows. All we need is a chance!

       Please ignore the above testimony if you are one of those church-goers, or religious people who just couldn’t love this society more, yet, most of the cases, I would be more likely to hear the echoes from the other same souls. The same souls which will go shopping for groceries every day, working the jobs they hate so they can buy the shit on the flyers. How long can a man live? The development of science and technology are extending that time by any means. How long can we live the life we want? This society had us living by no means. Let’s all act up…