“The legend of white snake”

   Remember I was in elementary school when this Taiwanese sitcom prevailed in mainland, China. The bewitching white snake swept the country and left so many priceless memories in that generation. Along with many other television sitcoms that have accompanied our growth; “The legend of white snake” has always occupied a special spot in my heart.

   Almost 15 years later, when the music of “The legend of white snake” sounds again, when so many familiar figures recurred again on the screen, I was smitten by deep sensation somewhat between sadness and rejoice.

   It must here be told who this white snake was. White snake demon, Bai SuZhen, dreams of becoming a goddess, Kwan-yin directed her to repay her benefactor(Xu), who saved her life 1000 years ago ,so she takes on human form and goes to the human realm. Bai and Xu genuinely fall in love with one another, but such a relationship is forbidden by the laws of heaven. They meet a sorcerer (monk) called FaHai who once had a personal enmity with Bai and believes that every demon should be eliminated. But FaHai also knows that Bai SuZhen is already in the process of becoming a goddess. He can't eliminate her immediately so he vows that he will if he sees them again. The chance came when Bai sent her sister (Qing) to steal treasure from the “Prime minister” of the country in order to help Xu, and thus offended the officials. “Prime minister” sent Fahai to eliminate Bai and her friends. Fahai first tricks Xu into being knocked and locked him up. Bai begged Fahai to release Xu, Fahai not only refused her request but humiliated her by disgraceful means. Qing decided to revenge for her sister, but was almost killed by Fahai, to save her sister; Bai flooded the temple and almost the entire district by using witchcraft. Fahai was going to eliminate Bai when the baby in Bai saved her life.  But after giving birth to a son Bai can't control herself anymore and is forced to tell her husband the truth about her origins. Xian kindly accepts her, but Fahai then attacks the weakened Bai and holds her to eternal captivity in the Leifeng Pagoda.

   There have been many modifications to the story and the story has been performed numerous times in Opera and films. But it is only in its 1993 Taiwanese TV series that my affectionateness dwells. I believe I wasn’t the only one that was crazy for Bai Suzhen, revolted at Faihai and felt sad for Xu…Bai Suzhen was played by Agene (Zhao yazhi), who has gained her popularity based upon many of the roles she played long before this sitcom. I recall that I first fell for her on her last play “Drama of Qianlong”. “Such a beauty shall only be found in heaven, for what reason was she descended to terrestrial?

I didn’t recon that after so many years, when I went back to review the TV series, it is still so affecting as if it was a barrel of aged wine that could only refine itself as the time lapse . When the roughness of the graphics becomes so obvious and yet so naïvely cute; when so many special effects in the movie are considered obsolete according to today’s technological standard…then I start to realize that I was only too dump to have made such a comparison.

   

                                                                                 Return

It has been more than one year, indeed…from the last time that I’ve left any trace here. Listening to Damien Rice while I’m trying to replay what has happened in the past year, have strived and failed to put all the scattered memories together.

Again, I feel the urge to write and again I feel the need to rest after a few lines, as if words would start to become impotent. For all these years, I’ve been tired for no reasons. Happiness has never been the derivatives of my reaching towards being an adult. Maybe I’m an adult already. That’s right; I have been an adult since I gave up playing with firecrackers, playing war game with my younger sisters and brothers, with whom I have barely spoken in the past few years. They have involuntarily become strangers, like thousands of other people I pass by each everyday. Sometimes I would miss them so much; sometimes I seek for them helplessly in my memories.

God, I’ve grown way older than I should be. I contemplate life with desperations. I see things with desire and anger, with an impulse to possess and destroy at the same time. The philosophers say that we are all contradictory entities, I believe I will definitely shine on that account. Can’t I for once just start to enjoy life instead of squeezing the world for bitter juice? The answer is either alcohol or “fight club”, perhaps the two combine. Let’s drink for “Fight club”, in which I might find salvation;let the chips fall where they may... It is this movie that gives me resonance to a deeper of voice of my life. For a split second on the flight back to Canada, I had wished for a crash, I had wished for the plane to ditch into the ocean, survived by only me and another beautiful girl drifting to an island of nowhere, and nobody can find. Then we built shelter and everything out of trees and orphan stuffs from the plane. That thought always gave me a good laugh from a narcissistic ridicule of the real life. Nevertheless, what’s real anyways? How do you define real? How do you define us as human being? We are nothing but number, years we have lived, years to go…when we have accumulated enough number on that odometer of our lives, we stop traveling and perish like cars, no matter how much “gas” you pump into yourself, you simply just don’t run anymore, because you have reached the destination of your destiny. We are nothing but numbers; we are the number on our bank account, credit report…Because of those, we are numb of the things we own. We could own everything, but ultimately, we end up owning nothing. We drive cars that are built by machines, live in apartment we saw on internet poster last night…We are attached to nothing. We can move to the other end of the earth and all we need is the number on our bank account, number we can use on our credit card…Pathetic!

I pray for a great war in which we can fight our invisible enemies, in which we might be able to polish out some of our phoniness…But we don’t seem to be able to have a great war. We are depressed for reasons that are so obvious, but we can’t do anything about it, as we are so addicted by the convenience that's provided by modern world. We can lavish our food since we can get more on the next minute trip to supermarket; all it takes is a deduction on our number. For all these years, I wanted to retreat to a quite corner of this planet, yet I have been afraid of the opportunity cost. What is my opportunity cost? Is it a Farris that can’t be driven over the 50km speed limit, or is it a big house that won’t be mine till I pay off the mortgage on the day I die? I had easily convinced myself that I would rather have a courser that I can ride at full speed over the vast grassland, a shanty that is built by my own hands… why have I constrained myself to thoughts and dreams? I ask the heavenly father for courage, for hope, for answers…But he says courage is to be found within myself, he says I don’t need hope, losing all hope is freedom. He says the only answer is I myself.

                                                       Wake up

When you have insomnia, you are never asleep and you are never awake. I, on the contrast, am addicted to sleep. Having been awake for only a couple of hours, I feel like to surrender myself to that bed again. Am I awake, or was I ever awake, or what difference does it make? At least, in dream, I still have the power to surprise myself.   

 

 

      Oh, please, God forbids me wasting my time fudge the difficulties! My whole complaining process was again initialized by finding myself in an awkward predicament, surrounded by the recent “self-suspension” from working and the upcoming tests. Everybody has his break point, not surprisingly; my scattered passion or patient to the job at FKC finally brought my “working” project to a temporary closure. Fortunately, there is an employment agency frequently offers temporary works. Like weeks ago, I was directed to serve a “Wine Taste” banquet. Although it is usually a one-time thing, the job pays more and is generally easier.

      Yesterday, my roommates brought up that those photographers of Nation Geographic’s are probably working the most “colorful” job. At least they are immune from working in the office and possess a free-pass to see the world. Finding the prefect job is somehow as hard as finding a needle in the open ocean, or to be more relevantly, say, winning the first prize in lottery. Recalling the memories from those ideal, childish times, most of my generation fantasized themselves to be an astronaut, a general or a doctor…some were so “devoted” to their obsessions that they draw pictures of them and when theirs stories are being told, the sweet lost its power and toy its magic…

       The first cry from our birth promised us with the difficulties of this long journey. My humble knowledge tells me that we could be the only animal who cries on his birth. So intelligent that we foresee something the others can’t… If this is the way life is, then my journey has just started!   Bless moi!               

It seemed almost in no time that the summer has made his disappearance, overwhelmed by the coldness of the upcoming long winter.  Although I wish I could get a grip on the “diminishing” summer, delay his departure by some days, I’ll be more likely required to get a grip on the reality instead. Apart from all the unappreciable natures of winter, my resentment towards this season is mainly based on the inconvenience he implanted when living under his shadow. Standing at the bus stop, covered with snow, chilling …while the bus finally makes his late arrival in his lumberly fashion after the stiffness sets inside your flesh. I might have exaggerated it for a little bit. Yet the worst scenario had happened and could replay itself again. No matter how much I complain, bad scenario always have their shoots, no matter how faithful I am, the good ones never happen on request. Like the lottery, for that slim possibility to win, we give away our hope. The odd is not on our side but we never lost our passions to against all the odds. Pathetic opportunists …I take that as a complement. Admit or not, we are all named opportunists. People who take the chance at the right time, become the cover page of the magazine, people who don’t take the chance is found among us as for those who take the chance at a wrong time are to be seen behind the bars.

   I don’t know if you folks have seen the <<Prison Break>> already. If you haven’t, then you might be considered “Obsolete”. It is usually more than rare to hear me to recommend a TV show, needless to mention the reasons, but I guess the first exception is in order here.

   The first prison was built in 1860, since then, we started to send those who are “disliked” by the society to the little cages. We fantasized the process of “inhabitation” will consequently begin, we fantasized that behind those bars, and the “bad” are separated from the “good” … People say that this world is better off without them, they are speaking the truth. However, no matter how “sophisticated” our law system is, we will never get rid of crimes. One day we’ll overcome the poverty, one day, we’ll find a solution to AIDS, one day… is never the day for us to say “farewell” to crimes.  

  

     How much does a life weight? Does it weight as much as the World Trade Center which collapsed on the same day five years ago? How about 2973 lives?

     I’ve never thought that I would take a lesson about life from that incident until 5 years later when a documentary on the discovery channel brought me so close to the catastrophic memories in most of the Americans. People around the world were shocked, horrified…yet the catastrophe led people to a deeper question: How much are we determined to live? It is only after you faced the death nose to nose that you know the living. These are the days which we judge people by the suits they wear, the car they drive, the house they live…People at the bottom of this society are always appealing that we never shared the love from God equally.

     But when the disasters strike upon us that we know we are all equally weak in front of the disaster, driven by one single motivation: survive.        

        My interest towards learning German has been aroused by my “Deutschland” friends. Finally, I had myself focus on the objective seriously for this time, while finding some free German studying resources has turned out to be as difficult as the language itself. Wasted my whole night pursuing some stupid German studying software, I concluded this night as another confirmation of the fact: “There is no free lunch”. Either you possess money to buy it or you possess skills to steal it. I process neither of them. Frustrated as I am, I again introduced myself to this stupid writing thing, striving to find some refugee in it.

       The first day back to college seemed to have nothing to do with the theme:“interesting”, not even close. The coming back of students makes the campus again an uproarious place which meanwhile makes me missing the past peaceful summer. If there was a question I am to ask God, I would confront him with all the complication he implanted in us. Nothing is ever good enough for us or just me. There were times I hated high school, there were times I missed it and now those are all the times I don’t want to remember anymore, just like I don’t want to remember the taste of Chinese food. Accustomed myself to the macaroni and stuffs, I guess life is better off without those memories, what have you?

      After had almost a week off, I am, reluctantly or not, going back to work. Dragging my ass over there, having the whole day wasted for the miserable money. Scheiß , Scheiß… Das brachte mich auf die. Alles lief wie am Schnürchen.

        After exhausted all my resources and inspirations for a proper title, I have had to send my weakest solider but also the omnipotent one to the battle, “untitled diary”, it works in all conditions and exclusively concluded these two “untitled” days.

        The new term certainly is not as “refreshing” to me as to those who just got their tastes on university. Some days ago, picking up freshmen at the airport reminds me of the very moment one year ago when I was like anyone of them, in whom it is not a difficult task to perceive a slightly “tabulated” emotion by a long fly, by an uncertain new place…By the way, if you are to pick up girls at the airport, remember no car is too big for them. For some reasons, which I will never be able to comprehend, girls really have all their passions on luggage. With all my imaginations, I failed to list all items that could possibly overhaul those giant luggage monsters.

        Being away from home for than a year, strangely, my compass doesn’t always point south, as a result, homesick has been dusted with time. Neither Changsha nor Shanghai carried  many of my memories, as to the place I first started to learn this world, it changed too rapidly as my bare eyes can hardly recognize him. From my respect, the change has done nothing good.     

         

 

Is soul-mate real? I’m asking myself that same question over and over and again after I watched Tom Hanks and Mega Regan “I’ve got a mail”. I don’t remember when exactly this movie made its reputation, could be some five years ago. Anyways, I somehow gave myself reasons to endure all the commercials and waited along to watch the whole movie. Trust me, tolerating commercials would be the very last option besides killing myself.

Is there really a soul-mate for each one of us in this world, a world which is more likely to precious people like Paris Hilton? She is not the one who should to blame, for sure. We made her the symbol of this “marvelous” era. When she gets drunk or acts like a prostitute, I humbly believe most of us would cheer and all of sudden start to realize the fun side of the world. Although she might fail to qualify a soul-mate, I have faith on her ability to be a good “bed-mate”! Seriously, why on earth do we need a soul-mate? How many of us actually found one? Who really needs a “Soul-mate”?  After all, is just another one of our “phobia” of simple living. So forget about the whole thing, if you can’t, reach down into your pocket and buy one!          

        Enough is enough, while there is nothing much you can do about it. This life has entered an embarrassing stage. The lottery is not happening; now, even looking at the miserable bank statement could make this life a total catastrophe. I assume that my “esteemed” reader shall now know the reason of the absences of my diaries.

        If there was something needs to be remembered as a memento of the past month, then allow me to introduce my terribly “might” job at KFC. “Money don’t come easy”, we are all used to the old saying, now, I have more authority to use that saying than before. For some people, they will never find any use of that saying, for me, I’ll have to live on that for a while. The more I think about it, the more it hurts. Those god damn pop stars, or clowns of the center stage make billions of dollars each year just for a couple minutes of singing and dancing, even just showing up would do the trick.. Enough is enough; after all, we are all furiously and also hopefully, prepared for a total war. War is the most sophisticated tool polishing the human-beings. A war is not to weed out the weak ones but to give them a chance to be strong. Besides, who are the weak? Nobody really knows. All we need is a chance!

       Please ignore the above testimony if you are one of those church-goers, or religious people who just couldn’t love this society more, yet, most of the cases, I would be more likely to hear the echoes from the other same souls. The same souls which will go shopping for groceries every day, working the jobs they hate so they can buy the shit on the flyers. How long can a man live? The development of science and technology are extending that time by any means. How long can we live the life we want? This society had us living by no means. Let’s all act up…

         

Deutsch, deutsch, deutsch, deutsch, deutsch, deutsch
German，Reich, Germany……………

                                            
Natürlich hat ein Deutscher "Wetten, dass ... ?" erfunden

Those who say “We are always right, put your mortgage on it” must be Germans

Vielen Dank für die schoenen Stunden
Thank you for asking, we are living the happiest lives.

Wir sind die freundlichsten Kunden auf dieser Welt
We are the most welcomed customers on this planate.

Wir sind bescheiden, wir haben Geld
We are modest and wealthy

Die Allerbesten in jedem Sport
Best atheists in this world are also“German Made”  

Die Steuern hier sind Weltrekord
…

Bereisen Sie Deutschland und bleiben Sie hier
You are all invited to visit Germany and stay.

Auf diese Art von Besuchern warten wir
We look forward to your visiting.

Es kann jeder hier wohnen, dem es gefaellt
Whoever you are, our hospitality never changes.  

Wir sind das freundlichste Volk auf dieser Welt
Friendly we are, probably the most friendly nation on earth.

Deutsch, deutsch, deutsch, deutsch
German, Reich, Germany

Nur eine Kleinigkeit ist hier verkehrt
 

Und zwar, dass Schumacher keinen Mercedes faehrt
Schumacher is not driving Mercedes. www.6park.com

Das alles ist Deutschland
This is Germany.

Das alles sind wir
We are Germans.

Das gibt es nirgendwo anders
There is nothing weird about it.  

Nur hier, nur hier
Germany, Germany…

Das alles ist Deutschland
This is Germany.

Das sind alles wir
Indeed Germans we are.

Wir leben und wir sterben hier
This is where we live and die. www.6park.com

Deutsch, deutsch, deutsch, deutsch
Deutsch, deutsch, deutsch, deutsch
 www.6park.com

Es bilden sich viele was auf Deutschland ein
Rumors had us labeled “Conceited”

Und mancher findet es geil, ein Arschloch zu sein

Es gibt Manchen, der sich gern über Kanacken beschwert
Some people waste all their times complaining about trifles.

Und zum Ficken jedes Jahr nach Thailand faehrt
Some people fly to Thailand every year to make their “flies” open.

Wir lieben unsere Autos mehr als unsere Frauen
We love women and that’s why we love our cars more.

Den deutschen Autos koennen wir vertrauen
German car is what we trust.

Gott hat die Erde nur einmal geküsst
 
Genau an dieser Stelle, wo jetzt Deutschland ist

Wir sind überall die Besten natürlich auch im Bett
We do and we do the best, “doing women” is no exception.

Und zu Hunden und Katzen besonders nett
ww.6park.com

Das alles ist Deutschland
This is Germany.
Das alles sind wir
Das gibt es nirgendwo anders
Nur hier, nur hier (zwo, drei, vier)
Das alles ist Deutschland
Das sind alles wir
Wir leben und wir sterben hier
www.6park.com

Wir sind besonders gut in und auf die Fressehauen
We are outstanding soldiers.

Auch im Feuerregen kann man uns vertrauen
We are the people who you can trust in combat.
Wir stehen auf Ordnung und Sauberkeit
We keep everything in order and clean.

Wir sind jederzeit für'n Krieg bereit
We are ready for battle even when we are asleep.

Schon Gross an die Welt zieht es endlich ein
One day we’ll conquer the world again.

Wir koennen stolz auf Deutschland sein
We’ll proud and be prouded of Germany.    w.6park.com

Schwein, Schwein, Schwein, Schwein
 
Schwein, Schwein, Schwein, Schwein
 www.6park.com

Das alles ist Deutschland
Das alles sind wir
Das gibt es nirgendwo anders
Nur hier, nur hier
Das alles ist Deutschland
Das sind alles wir
Wir leben und wir sterben hier
www.6park.com

Das alles ist Deutschland
Das alles sind wir
Das gibt es nirgendwo anders
Nur hier, nur hier
Das alles ist Deutschland
Das sind alles wir
Wir leben und wir sterben hier

      Italians put an end to Germans’ magical journey. It was really a surprise that they’ve gone so far…Overwhelmed Sweden by a 2-0 victory, eliminated the favored Argentina and almost dragged Italy into the penalty shoot out which is certainly to Germany’s favor. This German team has again proved their toughness like always…They are never the favorite of fans, yet they again and again beat the favorites. It is a surprise, maybe…But a miracle, I think Germans just did what they are used to do…If it was to resemble some people want to call a miracle; I would call it a routine miracle.

   If Brazilians play soccer because they love to, I say those Germans play soccer to represent the whole country, the fortitude of what they believe, a typical Teutonism…When they are running on that field, dribbling, shooting, tackling, they give more than just fun…

   My perspective to the Nordic has reached a new level. Ethnocentrism has its root deep inside all the Germans. Their ethnocentrism is nothing like Frenchmen, in whom I see more of ultranationalism.

  I almost forgot the significance of this long weekend for those Canadians. Even their national day has something to do with States. 1^st of July…4^th of July, why let these inappreciable three days become the discordant “birthmark” of these two “identical twins”? Wouldn’t it be easier if they celebrate their “Canada’s day” on the same day of “America’s day”?

   What do I care? My vacuity on this unoccupied boring long weekend had me all nagging and puckish. Fortunately, I have this space to unleash all my demon craps, most importantly, I’m glad to have found out that a few people left their footprints on my MSN space, although most of them were attracted by the music I put on my space. Anyways, for those who want downloading the music on my MSN space, my advice would be -right clicking the media player, and then you would be able to retrieve the URL under properties. The one that I’m currently using on the space has been there for a while. I couldn’t find any works to overwhelm his authority. “Shopping” for music has come into an embarrassing stage. People in these days claim the hardships of making money; I found more hardships on buying what we need.

   However, money doesn’t come easy, that is more than true. So much as sports betting requires more than just luck.. Other than rough luck, greed has always played an important role in all failures. Maybe my lost would be more of a victory to most losers in sports betting. Despite my recent misfortunate, the “income statement” actually is a mark of victory; finically…I could have won much more if I had realized the hostility of greed earlier.      

    Half way through the summer holiday, half way through the World Cup…It turned out that not writing diary didn’t slow down the pace of time, it actually, on the contrast, accelerated it for a little bit. Anyways, I’ve been enjoying the company of World Cup, although there is no “surprising” so far, although Ronaldo isn’t half the man than he used to be…it has been, like I just said, a great tournament.

     I sometimes really wish that cooking could be as enjoyable as watching the game. All my efforts have been convereted into nothing more than failures. Seriously, I wonder why? What did I do wrong? I guess I’ll never know. One thing I found useful has relentlessly failed me. Something is telling me I should give myself a break from cooking. That might do some good for my spoiled appetite.     

     Weird thing, after a long time alienation of writing, I, all of sudden, feel a little bit closer to the stuffs I’m writing.

     OK, I’m going to stop right here and mark this as a coming back to writing!  

  

     World cup has finally made his arrival and also conceived my excuse for not writing anything. I’ve been occupied by this mighty sport we human-beings invented. For the justice of those real fans, my enthusiasm towards this tournament shall never be proclaimed. Yet, my adventure of sports betting upon it is somehow getting rewarded. Regardless of a disappointing loss which I undergone earlier today, my success speaks for itself. I might have decoded something from the odds; I don’t know…my humble theory is still waiting to be approved. Anyways, it has been a wonderful tournament for me so far.

     If you were to ask me ranking all sports in these days, soccer or “football” would always be my favorite candidate to that crown. People who live in this continent may have different opinions; however, the recognition of their “football” is narrowly only among themselves. Entertainmentally speaking, basketball might have more authorities to speak out, nevertheless, its nature of entertaining has also constrained itself from developing.

Rummaging through a big pile of advertisements, getting weeded out by some, and writing emails to the rest…that would be the standard procedure for job hunting. With all knowledges of the hardship of that task, I shall not be giving too many credits to the result. Still through, it is always good having something that you can actually hope for. So despite the slim possibility, I decided to keep this thing going, checking out the employment center, grabbing some flyers…then I could start over my hoping cycle again.

If it was not stimulated by an “affordable” car I saw in the other day, I wouldn’t have this kind of strong impulse to job hunting. To be honest, I’ve been haunting by the impulse of purchasing since the very moment I laid my eyes on that car. God, if you were not to having the intention of giving me an opportunity to work, why are you giving me the reason to hope. When hope costs nothing but time, I would be happy to hold that hope as long as I live. Yet, this one could further jeopardize my jeopardized financial standing. Stay strong…Joe, No gains, no cars!!!      

      

   

    It’s been raining for three days, through out my entire break. I called it “The “prefect” balance”. The all sunshiny, all summery days at the beginning of the week had that balance worked perfectly well. Not surprisingly, this weekend was destined to be rainy like it is. Not surprisingly, I started the diary with all complains like always.

   The unsupportive weather has failed preventing me from carrying on my plan of fishing trip, although it has forced me to take the detour. I’ve decided to give some respects to my past experiences of fishing, so the result would be remaining unannounced. To my own defense, lacking of experiences of using fishing rods with rollers was one of my excuses, and my unfamiliarity with plastic lures was to strengthen the self-comfort. Optimistically speaking, catching fish would be available by next time. Talking about next time, a more economical fishing plan will be applied. I was more than happy to have discovered that some buses actually go by the lake I’m fishing at. That could be the best compromise made between my enthusiasm for outdoor activities and an embarrassing financial standing. “Dancing with rental car” is simply too fancy to my “wild nature”, unless someone would like to share the expense with me, I guess I’ll have to put punctuation to this car renting deal. The story is like “trading off convenience for retrenchment”. “Not my call”, that is my comment about the story. Or it could be my call, just; it hasn’t been made yet… I’m still giving credits to working a part-time, yet it requires a lot of works. My first few tries have all made their disappearances. Fortunately, those were only the beginnings, Wish me luck, I’m going in…             

  

     People don’t or can’t remember my birthday. As to myself, although I’ve strived to realize the significance of my birthday, all my celebrations was a well-wishing from myself. I’ve never celebrated my birthday like the other people did…throw a party, bunch of birthday presents…those terms are extremely strange in my world. Birthday, to me, has more sorrow meanings, especially when the past year seemed nothing more but an extra candle on the cake.      

Stop being so negative, keep yourself busy on studies in which I’ve found great difficulties. Not technically but mentally. I guess every season has been naturally assigned to different purposes, just like all places have their different functions. Home, I now find no hospitalities for studying, particularly when accounting is in presence. This society had most people recognized the importance of that subject, yet the subject had me to perceive the failures of its direction. Business is obviously not the same as it was a hundred years ago, not to mention the very original form of trading. We have accordingly developed tons of new subjects to hospitalize the evolution of business. Trading, for sure, has become much easier; nevertheless, it has deteriorated the depreciation of the things we own which inevitability leads to depressions. The story has also become true for knowledges. We learn stuffs we don’t need simply because we are too afraid of to be weeded out. Safety, in these days, is jeopardized by knowing too much. How much do we need to survive this world? How much do we need to survive ourselves?

 

   Unbelievable…After I’ve been through another “regular” weekend, Canadians still have no sympathies on my poor nerves to all holidays. The worst part was my ignorance of their holidays, reading plan was totally sabotaged by the closure of libraries and I ended up walking an hour back home thanks to the disappearance of all buses. To me, holidays have become synonymous of jails.

   Peel off the frustrations I had this morning, some comments on my MSN space somehow gave me comforts. Strengthened by these comments, I guess I’ll just keep myself occupied by writing and attempting of cooking. Professional, I’m surely dared not to address myself in that way, yet, eatable? I guess I’m half way there. I should have started to learn cooking earlier; it just never appealed to me the importance of cooking. I always thought restaurants could be my salvations or my shield to all the troubleness of cooking. It turned out Canada is nothing like Singapore, although we have a bunch of Chinese restaurants in Halifax, my “resentment” towards their food is as solid as rock. Maybe it was just me being too judgmental, or too picky on food, however, I’m done with the restaurants. Inevitably, tons of time would be sacrificed to cooking, not for pleasures but for the sake of my stomach. Look on the bright side, isn’t it a good way to kill time in all sorts of holiday?  

   In such a slack afternoon, listening to <<Tamas Wells>> accompanied by the vernal scene outside of my window…It soon will become another one of my dé ja vu memories. It is a pity that I can’t run today; I sort of pushed myself too hard yesterday. Paintballs seemed to have failed my hunger for sports and basketball I played afterwards seemed to have failed me, physically. I’ll have to listen to my body, maybe I can seek for the help from Homeopathic Remedy Silicea. For most people I believe don’t know what Silicea is. Not being a medical student, my knowledge of Silicea has been limited to its usage to relief fatigue. What makes it different would be that it stimulates the body itself to fight against diseases- Forgive my lame explanation. Anyways, I hope it works.

  P/s My appreciations to Vivian-Alice’s comments. Thanks! You are more than welcome to visit my site.  

It sounds like a silly question, I know, yet it very much indeed becomes an issue. After a cranky night of rainstorm, the morning sunshine makes my mood a too much contradiction. Struggling on this writing, struggling on a fight between my aspiration of going somewhere and recognize of an indigent situation. I’ve been thinking of a fishing trip for quite a while, however, my financial standing gives me no support what so ever. Beside, I’m experiencing some problems on locating the place. One thing I liked about Canadians was their intimacy with outdoor activities. Internet and computer are more like aliens to them. I don’t know if they are too stupid to understand the “benefits” of internet or we are too stupid to understand them.

Any advice on the fishing trip, like where to, when and most economical way for a fishing trip will be appreciated.